Pilot

I knew a brother who started off in his youth as a revolutionary possessing the spirit of a social servant and activist. He was a lover of art, the avantgarde, deconstructionism, having many, many, many, female friends (or at least wanting many, many, female friends), and he was a believer of the ending all oppression for all people.

Then he got married and had kids.

Oh, he thought he was being different; naming his kids after dead or fugitive revolutionaries, keeping in a career along the lines of nonprofit/human services, being not only a father, but an ACTIVE father (not just a live-in wallet or sperm donor), and trying to be the supportive partner to his mate, but all of that didn't shield him from realizing that the life he got into became a business. The business is The Family as we know it in western (and eastern) societies now.

He has to endure speeches from his partner regarding the importance of what KIND of schools his progeny will attend and realizing that those speeches are rooted in ruling class 'think'. His hair is frosted in white now even though he looks 29 (he is actually 35). He sees that there are glaring similarites to his life and that of TV families; Huxtable, Bradys, etc. and it makes his stomach clench, because he knows that his family is part of the bourgeios ideal that keeps burning oil, paying taxes for the manufacturing of irradiated bullets.

He is middle class and his family is the lynch pin of how the west grinds away.

This brother is a former komrade of mine who used to share in the same ideological beliefs as I still claim and he used to understand how marriage and family are replacements of real love and the replacement of community-as-family. Instead, his nuclear situation has made him part of the problem; not the solution. I mourn my brother and former-comrade today.

The problem is men aren’t commitment\marriage phobic; they are just confused about being truthful (to themselves and others) about what they DON’T want. That is why I don’t waste my time dealing with those guys and other women shouldn’t either. Men should just come out and say on any given date or when the “life goal” question is asked that:

1. They are not interested in getting married and disdain the idea
2. All they want is either sex or a long-time sex partner – she she walks away guys, live with it. That’s why god made Rosy Palms and her five sisters.
3. You only want A long-term companion – only!
4. If pressed for marriage or truly desired, they would rather have an open marriage

In addition men should DO the following:

1. Stop playing mind games on women to keep them or leading them on
2. Wear fucking condoms!
3. man up and get a vasectomy
4. Stop living up to the Patriarchal image of Father – This image is outdated and was not very useful in the 50s, 40s, and the other godforsaken decades before that.
5. Grow up

In even more addition women should:

1. Return feminism back to the streets and fight for economic justice for women. Why? Think, ladies, we are stuck on being “Wedded Barbie” for a reason; we lost the balls to compete for a living wage and to be paid equally as men, so the logic follows that the best bet is hook up and get married for benefits – as if we can’t do that for ourselves. You know we can, but most of us have taken the easy way out – or so we it is will be until Hubby drops you like it’s hot and suddenly you’re a victim of age and gender as you try look for work at fifty. Being a matrimony whore is not a good look.
2. Stop listening to the Victorian in her head. A neat thing came from our parents. It was called the sexual revolution of the 60s. No, this doesn’t mean that you should abuse your body with any penis or vagina that comes along, just use sex when YOU desire it. Live your desires to its fullest – end of story.
3. Live your life to its fullest. You’ve been laid off, your career is in the toilet, too many people in your community know your business – it’s time to uproot and be a gypsie woman! Break the mold that men and mom have made for you, and learn how to fish or hang glide naked. Stop being a pussy looking to get anchored.

I think women need to take on the same attitude against marriage and commitment as men. Believe me, they will certainly feel good with all that pressure to “mate-up” on their shoulders.

Have male friends to go drinking with, hire (professional) male whores to scratch that itch, and live long and prosper.